10 Misconceptions About Kids Sports — and How Parents Can Push Against Them
Steve Borelli spoke to parents at St. Michael's Country Day School in Newport, Rhode Island — two miles from the International Tennis Hall of Fame — and opened with a story about Andre Agassi. The greatest tennis player of his generation hated tennis. His father force-fed it to him. He became a professional because it was all he felt he could do.
That story set the stage for a conversation about the 10 most common misconceptions — and in some cases, outright delusions — that sports parents carry. Here's what the research actually says.
1. Winning leads directly to advancement
Across multiple studies of kids who play sports, winning falls far down the list of what kids find most fun. Sports scientist Amanda Visek found that kids' top three fun determinants were trying hard, positive team dynamics, and positive coaching. Winning is a byproduct of those factors — not a prerequisite for them.
2. It's bad to fail
Duke professor Aaron Dinin teaches a class called "Learning to Fail." He intentionally puts students in situations where they fall short — and they gain information they can use to improve. "The most important thing is actually losing," says Dan Soviero of Signature Athletics. "When you lose, you learn. When you win, you celebrate."
3. It's always worth it to be on the 'best' team
Norwegian kids aren't sorted by ability until age 13. They learn to enjoy sports and play as much or as little as they like. The result: an embedded love of sport that lasts a lifetime, regardless of whether they're identified as elite. The 'best team' pressure is an adult construct.
4. Kids play sports to go pro or get a scholarship
Most everyone in the audience laughed at this one. Multiple surveys — including a recent Aspen Institute study of youth soccer players in New York and New Jersey — show that having fun and playing with friends are the top priorities for kids. They play for social reasons. We're the ones focused on the future.
5. The best athletes are that way from an early age
Tom Brady started his freshman football career 0-7 and only made varsity because the kid ahead of him quit. Annika Sorenstam used to tank junior tournaments to avoid public speaking. Late developers can and do make it — if they're allowed to stay in the game long enough.
6. If your kid is excelling, they must be enjoying themselves
Kids are smarter than you think. They know if you're spending a lot of money, and they don't want to let you down. Excelling and enjoying are not the same thing. Make sure to have real conversations — especially before encouraging them to keep going on a competitive track.
7. If you don't start travel sports early, you'll be left behind
Travel sports don't really ramp up for college recruitment purposes until 8th or 9th grade. Starting at 8 or 9 is not a competitive advantage — it's a financial and emotional commitment that may not pay off. Ask yourself: what are you actually trying to get out of this?
8. Watching practice is good for your kid
Abby Wambach is adamant: "Do not go to the practices and watch your children. This is their time." Practice is for free play, risk-taking, and building internal motivation. When parents watch, kids look for approval instead of learning. Let it be their time.
9. Early specialization is necessary for advancement
Focusing on one sport is not the same as only playing one sport. College coaches love multi-sport athletes. And early specialization — especially before mid-high school — increases injury risk, particularly for girls. Two rules of thumb: don't exceed a child's age in weekly hours; keep organized-to-unorganized play at 2:1 or less.
10. We play an active role in our kids’ sports development
Think of yourself as someone who puts your child in a situation to learn and grow — not someone who drives the outcome. The discoveries need to come from them. Give them options. Watch them thrive when they find something they really want to dig into. And take time as a family away from sports. When there’s too much focus on sports, everybody burns out — not just the kids.
By Steve Borelli — USA TODAY
Published April 26, 2026 · Republished with permission
Read the Full Article at USA TODAY →Stay Informed
Get free resources, news, and updates for sports parents delivered to your inbox.
Watch Be Valiant
Subscribe to our YouTube channel for video content, interviews, and the Be Valiant series.
Subscribe on YouTubeBE VALIANT. PLAY FEARLESS.
